Friday, January 27, 2017

There is an old mantra that states that opposites attract.  As Divorce lawyers know opposites can also create conflict.  A lot of relationships fall apart due to this conflict which can also lead to family violence. In my experience men and woman are more likely to be attracted to a pursue relationships with others that are more like them.
What I mean by this statement is that generally people choose to be in relationships with those people they share a religious, political, or other characteristics. Generally, people are of similar intelligence. In this sense people tend to complement each other and grow in their relationship. I think people tend to focus on certain aspects of their personality when they evaluate the similarities they share with their partner. I believe this gives people the false impression that they are opposite personality wise to their partner. To a certain degree I believe this can associated with differences between men and women.
There are similar traits in men and woman that may repel them from one another. This becomes obvious when I deal with family violence cases, protective orders, and some child custody cases. The similarities between parties can cause tension that leads to conflict. Sometimes people dislike qualities about themselves. When they see this quality in their wife or husband they get angry. Sometimes this anger grows with time leads to fights, threats, violence, and divorce.
When tension and anger enter into a relationship it is more difficult for mother and father, husband and wife to support one another both publicly and privately. It is fairly reasonable that the anger is a result of not fully comprehending their partner’s perspective.
I don’t think the mother and father, or husband and wife are that complicated. I do believe that the relationship between these parties sometimes gets to that point do to conflict and discord that destroys the relationship between the parties.
I think the key issue that makes a “relationship” complicated is communication. Once the conflict, anger, and fighting occur people are unable to communicate effectively. To analyze this situation deeper, we can look to the barrier that conflict can create. Lack of information is the barrier. We all know or at least think we know what is on our mind, or what our perspective of a particular situation.  However, we don’t know the other person’s perspective, what they are thinking, and what they are holding back.
We all tend to be confident in our own perceptive meaning that we associate a high degree of credibility to our own perspective and we see confirmation from others to affirm our core beliefs and opinions. This can create the misconception of perfection. A person can then deduce that the other person’s perception is somehow imperfect, flawed, or even completely misguided and crazy.

This “complex relationship” has developed from a husband and wife, or father and mother that are not in and of themselves complicated. This situation can lead to a bad relationship where people that really desire a healthy relationship end up in a downward spiral of horrible decisions that lead to the break up of their marriage, relationship, or even to violence and protective orders. 
For a consultation with an experienced protective order lawyer please call 512-335-5245. We are located at 1000 heritage center circle, Round Rock, Texas 78664. 

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